Private Investigator

Frequently Asked Questions

What’s your name?

D. Vale, to you.

Why the secrecy?

I make a living by invading people’s privacy, usually after there has already been a murder. It would be suicide to make a celebrity of myself. It is infeasible to be truly anonymous when one is visiting scenes, of course, but I much prefer to be stalked physically than digitally; pseudanonymity prevents much of the latter.

What do you actually do?

I am a private investigator, or detective; whichever you like. I solve mysterie as an independent party, although I occasionally work with police if the situation is particularly vexing. I specialise in unusual deaths: typically these are murders, but I’ve diagnosed some very unlikely accidents.

My prior work has frequently been covered in the news. If you’ve got a case yourself, get in touch (read thoroughly, please).

Why do you do this?

The same reason some choose to be artists: because I have to.

Weird.

Yes.

Who runs this site?

For some time, me [Vale] alone. However, I have recently taken on an assistant, and they are far more fluent in technology than I am.

(This thing used to be so much uglier. –A.K.)

How much do you charge?

I prefer to hash that out with the client. Too many details to give a general number. Again, get in touch.

© Elijah Harper 2024